Women’s words

Women’s place in the world.

S M

I tell you, Chickadee
I am afraid of people
who cannot cry
Tears left unshed
turn to poison
in the ducts
Ask the next soldier you see
enjoying a massacre
if this is not so.
People who do not cry
are victims
of soul mutilation
Paid for in Marlboros
and trucks

Resist

Violence does not work
except for the man
who pays your salary
Who knows
if you could still weep
you would not take the job.
Alice Walker

Alice Walker, author and feminist

The Friend

We sat across the table
he said, cut off your hands.
they are always poking at things
they might touch me.
I said yes.

Food grew cold on the table
he said, burn your body
it is not clean and smells like sex
it rubs my mind sore
I said yes.

I love you, I said,
that’s very nice, he said
I like to be loved,
that makes me very happy,
Have you cut off your hands,yet?

———————Marge Piercy

It is important for women to have a voice in their herstory.

The Second Sex

Men have vied with one another in proclaiming that love is a woman’s supreme accomplishment. ” A woman who loves as a woman becomes only the more feminine,” says Nietsche, and Balzec; “Among the first-rate, man’s life is fame, woman’s life is love. Woman is man’w equal only when she makes her life a perpetual offering, as that of man is perpetual action.” But therein, again, is cruel deception, since what she offers, men are in no wise anxious to accept.Man had no need of the unconditional devotion he claims, nor of the idolatrous love that flatters his vanity; he accepts them only on condition that he need not satisfy the reciprocal demands these attitudes imply. He preaches to woman that she shoule give—and her gifts bore him to distraction, she is left in embarrassment with her useless offerings, her empty life. On the day when it will be possible for woman to love not in her weekness but in her strength, not to escape herself but to find herself, not to abase herself but to assert herself—on that day love will become for her, as for man, a source of life and not of mortal danger.”
excerpted, Simone de Beauvoir

The continual education of women is necessary

Homes of Single women

If women will not accept mariage with subjection, not men proffer it without, there is, there can be, no alternative. The woman who will not be ruled must live without marriage. And during this transition period, wherever, for the maintenance of self-respect on the side, and education into recognition of equality on the other,single women make comfortable and attractive homes for themselves, they furnish the best and most efficient object lessons for men.    -Susan B. Anthony

Twenty two Republicans Voted Against the Violence Against Women Act

Sculpture at National Museum of Art; acrylic paints on stretched canvas; Painting by Barbara Mattio

Washington DC is a remarkable city. There are the politicians and Congress and the White House. I have gone there many times to see art museums. I love borrowed exhibits. I have also been in the mall more times than I can remember for protests and picketing for women’s and children’t rights.

Yesterday, Congress did pass the Violence Against Women Act. This is a wonderful victory for women. But don’t get too excited because there is still a war going on against women.And this piece of legislation must be ratified by Congress every five years.

We still must work to receive legal equality. We, the women of America, are the only citizens who do not have legal equality. This needs to be passed this year. There is still much discrimination against women and minorities.

Every Republican voted against equal pay for equal work

There is a lack of respect for women in America

I suggest that everyone looks for the voting record of your Congress people. Look at who is voting against women and children. If you have one who has voted against legislation you believe in, it is time to vote againt the Congress person in the next election.

Magnolia, Oil pastels By Barbara Mattio

We can change women’s lives with our voices and our actions. We can use peaceful ways to debate and state the importance of respect for women, reproductive health concerns, education, equal pay and legal equality. Don’t leave it for someone else to stand up and tell the world our truth. We are sisters and need to stand up with and for the women of America.

Equal pay for equal work

,

Women are Human Beings

We need to look at the lives and accomplishments of women for inspiration and understanding. Women’s lives have been written only in the last few decades. One of my passions is to read women’s diaries that they leave behind. They give us a glimpse of their heart and souls. Their dreams and passions. The cost of accomplishing a life outside of the ordinary can be steep for many women. Those who were successful have paid a dear price for the life they created.

The irony is that women follow dreams just as men do. Martin Luther King had a dream and millions of women also have dreams. Women and men need to create meaning in their lives and their communities. It is not unfeminine to reach for public power instead of settling for private power. The unfulfilled woman and man are a loss to our society because each of us has much to contribute.

Women have been conditioned to do what is expected and not what they need. Some women want to stay home and be a full-time mother. Some want careers, some want many children and some don’t want to have any children. These decisions are the ones men make every day, but women are encouraged to fit into the proper box. This is a danger for women because to deny who you are and what you are capable of accomplishing is to short change the world and ourselves

The Universe gives us all gifts and talents and I believe we are expected to use them to create meaningful lives. Women who are living in violent relationships, who are verbally humiliated and are insulted day in and day out are suffering from emotional abuse.

The abuse takes many forms. Physical and emotional and psychological abuse can wreck a woman’s self-esteem and she learns to be a victim. This is one role no living being should be in. Feminism gives voice to those who have never had a voice in their own lives and those who have lost it as they have gone through the challenges of life.

Women are not inferior and they are able to make good choices about how to live and how to follow their dreams. Women have a right to have public power and not just power in the bedroom or the kitchen. Power is the ability to take one’s place in whatever discourse is essential to action and the right to have one’s part matter.

An assertive woman who has discovered her power is not “less of a woman” than a man who has discovered and uses his own power. Many people today confuse assertiveness with aggression. They are two concepts which are not at all related. Many times assertive women are maligned by people like Rush Limbaugh when he coined the term” feminazi.”" I have never understood why men are so intimidated by an assertive woman who knows who she is and what she wants and where she is going.

Women are human and that means that we are capable, intelligent, compassionate, passionate, strong and have the right to live our lives without interference from families and government. We can choose candidates, take care of our health, make decisions about reproduction. We don’t need keepers, or a strong man guiding us. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different. You are each perfect as you are and have the right to be who you are. Don’t allow the voices around you keep you from accomplishing your dreams and touching the stars.
We are equal. And in 2013, we will make the government legalize that equality. Being different, seeing from a different perspective does not make you unfeminine, it helps you to hold your head up and straighten your back and live with the dignity that The One gave to each of us. Different is not dangerous. It is just different!

What Women Want

This is a subject that has inspired books and movies. It is now a huge part of our 2012 Presidential election. Now, be assured that not all women want more rights. Some are happy and content being “owned” by the significant male in their life. But for those of us who are strong. capable and passionate, we want change. We don’t want to go back to the nineteenth century and we want to move forward.

Women want to be legally equal in 2013. We are the only citizens of the United States of America who are not equal legally. We want the government and men out of our bodies. We are capable of making choices that effect our reproduction and our health.

We want people to understand that rape is not legitimate. It has nothing to do with sex. It is completely about power and control. I cite the cases of eighty-five year old women and one year old babies being raped.

We want stronger laws protecting women and men from Domestic Violence. I worked in Domestic Violence in two states for over 25 years. A women does not have to live in fear. No one has the right to verbally abuse you. No one has the right to hit, slap, punch, kick, break your jaw, threaten your life or the lives of your children. There are shelters and helplines in almost every town and in every state. Call your local police for telephone numbers to receive shelter, food, counseling, legal assistance, moral support and caring attention.
At the shelter I helped to start we had a slogan, “You can’t beat a Woman.”

We want equal pay for equal work. Women who are doing the same job as a man are currently earning $.77 for every dollar a man earns. In the 1970′s, it was $.64 for every dollar a man earned. Yes, it is an improvement but a pathetic one.

Women want the world to know that women’s work counts. If a woman chooses to stay at home with her children she is just as worthy as a woman who goes out of the home to work. And if we go out to work, our work is as meaningful as a man’s work.

Women do not want to be viewed as second class citizens. We don’t want how we look, what size we wear, or how much plastic surgery we’ve had to matter more than our character, morals and intelligence.

We want the women in every country of the world to be free from honor killings, being sold into sexual slavery, from genital mutilation. We want every child, boy or girl in the world to be able to learn to read and write and to receive the medical care they require.

We want American insurance companies not to put caps on the health costs of human beings. We want every man, women, and child to receive the medical care and medication they need, even if they aren’t in the 1%. We want insurance companies to be forced not to tell doctors what medications they can prescribe and what treatments they can order.

We want the bullying that children are suffering at the hands of classmates to end. We want schools to be free of violence and hatred. Every time a child commits suicide due to bullying, we as a society, have failed them. Our hands are also bloody.

We want people to be able to love whomever they love. Love comes from the soul and souls don’t have gender. Souls just love and that love is no less beautiful than any other.

Please feel free to add things that I have not mentioned. I am happy to have your feedback. We need to create a better life for all women on this planet. If you don’t know much about feminism and would like more information, I suggest reading, Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique, Gloria Steinem. Revolution from Within, Robin Morgan, The Burning Times. I also suggest Lenore Walker and Alice Walker, Marge Piercy and Toni Morrison.

Alice Walker, author and feminist

Ninety-two Years Women have had the Vote

Ninety-two years ago, the Suffragettes won the right to vote. It was a very difficult fight. Men didn’t think we could think logically and rationally. Many didn’t think we could think about anything but the price of chopped sirloin or which tablecloth to put on  the table for Sunday dinner. Women who were not married and had no children were pitied and thought of as very different even abnormal.  Women didn’t even wear pants back then. Think about trying to accomplish a day in your life with a corset, bloomers, long sleeves and a floor length skirt on. The Suffragettes also gave us the right to throw the corsets away and breath and wear pants. Tennessee was the state that gave us enough votes to win the right to vote.

Now, it is 2012 and we have the right to vote to protect our existing rights. We need to vote for the candidate who will uphold our rights that we have now and who will work to give us legal equality next year. Think about the fact that ninety-two years after we have the vote, we still are not equal.

When you gain a right such as voting, you have a responsibility to use it. Women have a responsibility to vote this year. Our votes can make a huge difference in this election and shape the future for our daughters and granddaughters. Set the example for them to become knowledgeable about all of the issues and vote according to truth. Look into the “War on Women” and find out what the predominately male white Congress is trying to take from us. Obama  supports programs that benefit women.

I urge you to use the right the Suffragettes fought and gained for us and vote in 2012. Women need to be as outspoken about what happens in this country as the men are. We can make a difference.

Still I Rise

Holden Beach, NC Photo by Barbara Mattio

Women are not born feminists. Some are born tom boys, some are girly, some are born strongly principled. Some girls have a deep spiritual longing.

So then, what makes a feminist? Life creates feminists. Lovers bring joy, happiness and relationship to life. Some of them not only break hearts, they break our trust. Some of them break an arm or a rib or perhaps,”just” tell us we are nothing.

Women grow up and most go to college and some find that some professors don’t like women students. Some women have to be subjected to sexual harassment . Some women are bullied because they aren’t pretty enough or they are smarter than many of the males in class.

Women sometimes get all dolled up and go out with the girls. Some men think this means they are prey and stalk until they can go in for the kill.

All women realize that today we make $.77 for every dollar a man makes. For the same work. In addition, some must work in a hostile workplace.

I became a feminist because of some of the above scenarios and because I read a lot of history. I became aware that women have always been treated as possessions. Women have “needed” to be owned and controlled. I began reading about the European witch trials and found out that millions of women and children were horribly murdered because their knowledge of herbs and knowing which ones to use for healing made them different. This was a very serious matter if the was no man around to keep her in check. You could be in trouble for being good with animals. Today, we call that being a dog whisperer. or a horse whisperer. It used to mean you were a witch.

When I wanted to have a tubal ligation to prevent further pregnancy I had to bring a paper home from the doctor. This was 1972. My husband had to sign it for me to have the surgery. It was my own body. It belonged to me. But society didn’t see it that way, it belonged to him.

Have you ever gone shopping and hid what you purchased in the trunk? Did then later on sneak it into the house and your closet? That is the sneakiness that develops when we don’t have our own money and are not allowed to make our own choices.

We have gotten past the part where women are not encouraged to go to college unless it was to find a husband. Many women today have advanced degrees and still make less than a man or the same work and same degree. Women continue to be the minority in math and the sciences yet millions are capable to earning degrees in math and science.

Young women today don’t understand that they are entitled to be an equal partner in their relationships. They have the right to make their own money, to practice contraception and to have sex only when they want it. They don’t have to cooperate with their partner unless they wish to.

“You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But, still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise.
I rise.
I rise.

——Maya Angelou

I dedicate this blog to all of the oppressed peoples in the world. I especially dedicate it to those who have died due to hatred and violence. We won’t give up or go back!

Holden Beach, NC Photo by Barbara Mattio

And For the First Time

We are celebrating the 30th summer Olympics. There is something else we need to celebrate at this time. It is that for the very first time, ever ever. there are women athletes from every country competing.

This is huge and makes my heart sing. After all the American politics and the ultra conservatives wanting to take away our rights as women; after being the target of a War On Women; after all the centuries of persecution of women in countries around the world, We are There. We are ALL There, women competing, laughing and being equal. Women being brave and fighting to be at the top of their sport.

We may not earn as much as a man at a comparable job but we can compete in the Olympics! Each success must be celebrated. Perhaps, 2013 will bring us the status of being legally equal to all other people in America.

Untitled poem from “The Dinner Party”

“And then all that has divided us will merge
And then compassion will be wedded to power
And then softness will come to a world that is harsh
and unkind
And then both men and women will be gentle
And then both women and men will be strong
And then no person will be subject to another’s will
And then all will be rich and free and varied
And then the greed of some will give way to the needs
of many
And then all will share equally in the Earth’s abundance
And then all will care for the sick and the weak and the old
And then all will nourish the young
And then all will live in harmony with each other
and the Earth
And then everywhere will be called Eden once again.”

————Judy Chicago