No one wants to be hit, slapped, kicked, punched, pinched

We were born with love.
Give it away. Don’t hoard it. If someone hurts you, get help.

People are not Owned here in the USA or in any Country

Stats on Forcible Rape

Shameless Hussy

“yesterday i had a wild thot. hearing james brown on the radio singing sit it loud: i‘m black and i‘m proud. Ithot, wonder how it would feet to say, say it loud, i‘m female and proud. it was obviously too silly , think how embassassed i would be if a neighbor came to the door. what if john came home and i was making the bed yelling I AM FEMALE AND I’M PROUD? i‘d never hear the end of it. i started saying it and nearly choked on the words. choulnt get them out . realized it was a lie. i aint proud. didnt havea thing to do with it. took pot luck and came out a broad. kept trying to say it. after a few tries, i could. it wasnt very loud. it was probly the quietest sound in the room. me patting pillow into place on the bed and muttering, i‘m female and i‘m proud. then i got a little hostilce and said it loud, i‘m female and proud and thot about it and wanted to feel it and said it loud k’m female and proud and after the record was over i yelled it a couple of times and it felt okay. and i hanent done it since but maybe i will again.”
—-excetpt from Alta
A revolution has started, there’s no doubt about it. And what will happen if the masculine world order, built on language and the supremacy of men continues to be shaken by women everywhere? Women are going to continue to shake and challenge the misogyny in society.

Protesting who owns a woman’s body

Can we not envision a world in which both men and women honor the body, refusing to separate it from spirit? Can we see a world that cherishes the earthly as holy? Can we envision a world where caring for and nurturing the earth and each other becomes more important than domination and conquering? Can we see in our mind’s eye a world where all human beings are considered part of the ceative matrix?

Men ought to think about how it would feel if a sister, mother, aunt or nana was raped. Would it be hillarious to them?

I don’t feel men are the enemy. I have seven grandsons and love each of them dearly. The problem is that Patriarchy is killing the best in both genders of our society.You can smell the decay of society and war everywhere. The only history recorded is men’s history. We have made some progress but certainly not enough.

Women can never give up the search for themselves and their truth. Our truth is our herstory but it is more of an oral tradition that a written one. Women have only been able to be published under their given names for a couple of decades now. I have read that anonymous was a woman and it makes complete sense to me.

The United States of Shame

Real men don’t rape

Men often ask what women want. This is a huge subject but I will say here that we want a safer world to bring up our children and grandchildren. We want a healthy planet that will sustain us and future generations. We want to be accepted as equal and independent people despite our gender. We want a saner world. A world where young people go off and commit mass shootings doesn’t happen. We want a world where every woman is safe from abuse and rape. We don’t want to be the brunt of sexual innuendoes and jokes.

No more Rape Culture

Raise the kind of man who will respect and treat a woman as an equal.

Advice

“My hazard wouldn’t be yours, not ever,
But every doom, like a hazelnut, comes down
To its own worm. So I am rocking here
Like any granny with her apron over her head
Saying, lordy me. It’s my trouble.
There’s nothing to be learned this way.
If I heard a girl crying help
I would go to save her;
But you hardly ever hear those words.
Dear children, you must try to say
Something when you are in need.
Don’t confuse hunger with greed;
And don’t wait until you are dead.”
—-Ruth Stone

We must stop revictimizing the victim

We Did It !!!! Don’t Hit a Woman, Now it is a Crime Once Again

This is the Cycle of Violence. Do you see someone you know in it?

Thank you Congress for keeping all women safe

It will now go to President Obama who will sign it into law.

Never let a man slap, kick, punch, push, verbally insult or demean you. Call the police. It is a crime!

] America, stop teaching that violence against women is allowed.

The Violence Against Women Act that Just passed the Senate and now the House will be signed into law by President Obama.

Guns and Domestic Violence

The Anatomy of Abuse

Today, I just want to talk about the violence that steals the peace in our world. The entire world is writhing with the pain of violence and hatred. Peace is something we need to choose and too many people are choosing hate, intolerence and violence. There is so much horror and death everywhere in the world, we are moving away from what is morally right, and ethical in our lives. We look around and there is terrorism, jihad, Domestic Violence, bullying and a total lack of regard for the suffering of others.

Love should never hurt

So many families are filled with abuse and It is happening more often each year. This effects millions of women and children. Part of the increase is that is reported more often. Part is the increase of violence in our society. This violence is reflected in the lives of women and children.

In these violent homes wars are being fought and people are being injured and killed. If you study cases of murder-suicide in America, the majority of the abusers own one or more guns. Women who leave an abusive situation are in the greatest danger. This is often the time when they are shot or beaten to death. Statistically, abusers believe in their right to to bear arms. So this issue is that we make guns available to men who beat, strike, and often kill the members of their family.Sometimes, they just kill the woman. All of us who have worked in Domestic Violence have seen an abuser with a gun. We often saw angry men with guns who threatened to kill the woman. We never quite knew if he would include us. I had several death threats made against me during my years in DV.

We need to add these two issues together because abusers, whether male or female, should never be allowed to have guns. No one should have to live in fear. Adding guns to the access of abusers is just putting women and children in more danger. We need to stand up and Congress needs to ratify the Violence Against Women act. It needs to be passed this year.

We need to stop violence against women and we need to make sure guns are not in the hands of abusers.

We need to keep talking about the danger so many live in. We need to insist that Congress do everything it can to protect women, children and men who are living in violence. Call or email your Congress people and Senators and tell them you want them to pass the Violence Against Women act and to push for gun control.

You can help save someone’s life. You can make a difference and choose making peace in our world.

Violence Destroys Families

Battering destroys families.

For the victim of battering or Domestic Violence, they exist in a house with someone who hurts them. They are literally “Sleeping With the Enemy.” Abuse is the only crime in America where we ask the victim to lie down in bed next to the person who has just finished knocking their teeth out, punched them in the stomach, burned them with a cigarette, or holding a gun to their head.

Generations of children have learned that battering is normal.

Children in violent homes are often beaten or molested by someone they live with. Even for those who haven’t been beaten, They see their parents as role models. Yes, they often try to protect their mothers but the majority of them repeat the beatings they saw over and over as a child . They  learned to be an abuser. Girls in violent families whether beaten or not, watch the victim be punched, dragged, choked, slapped  burned with a cigarette and many other vile acts. They learn from their family that they are victims.  As they grow older, it is not unusual for abusers and victims to find each other. They live together in their set roles.

This woman is being victimized

Love should never hurt

The scene of Domestic Violence begins like any other relationship. Two people meet and fall in love. They live together or marry and may eventually have a baby. An abuser doesn’t always begin to abuse while they are dating. Sometimes it begins on the honeymoon. That first punch to teach the victim who is in charge. The abuser wants her to know exactly what is expected. Dinner at six, his shirts laundered just so. He expects her to be home all day and he will be calling to check up on her. Sometimes the abuse doesn’t begin until a pregnancy becomes reality. The abuser may say they are pleased and excited, but will then begin to beat the victim up. Frequently, the abuse consists of punching her over and over in the stomach. Many women have lost their babies because of abuse. Sometimes the abuse doesn’t begin until the children are older and the house doesn’t run as smoothly as it used to. The house is full of playing, laughing, screaming or giggling children. They learn soon enough not to bring anyone home to play because an episode of abuse may begin. These are families in name only.

Often violence begins during pregnancy

Hands were made for hugging and not for hitting.

To attempt to prevent episodes of abuse, the victim will try to have everything just the way the abuser wants it. The children are taught to be quiet and just eat dinner and go do homework. They stay in their rooms or go to a friend’s house so that they won’t be battered or have to hear the screams of pain and the abusive slurs that go hand in hand with the physical abuse.

Speak out

If you are being abused or know someone who is, get out and go to a shelter. Almost all cities have shelters now. Get yourself and the kids out before the abuse escalates and someone is dead. In a shelter, you will find medical help, warm beds, food, counseling, legal advice and assistance. You and your children will be protected and supported as you begin the process of starting a new life without violence.

It is never, never right to abuse a woman or children. It is never right to abuse a man. This is not really love. It is power and control. The abuser thinks he owns you. Leaving the violent home will be the beginning of having the ability to live without the fear of abuse.

New Violence in Our World

I am so sad to hear that there has been another mass shooting in a mall in Oregon. I ask that if you want to, that you pray for all who are there and for their families. Violence is never an answer. I am so sorry that this has come into the lives of these shoppers. Blessings to all.

Kinds of Light and Their Purpose

Light is a quality which allows us to see the details of a situation and to examine it completely.  With light there is shadow. Shadow can be elusive and mysterious. Shadow can create comfort or hide wickedness.

I, myself, love the play of light and shadow across a landscape or a person’s face. I love the lines it can create as well as the greys it gives birth to.

The sun gives us the light and shadow in life. That big orb in the sky which helps all the sentient beings on Mother earth to grow and thrive.  Human beings cling to the sun and its radiant light which is why we will risk much to live on a warm sun drenched beach.

Our Mother Moon also brings light into our nights. And with the light comes shadows. These shadows don’t have the same lines of definition as the lines of day light. Lunar light is soft as the first gentle brush of lips against lips. the shadows are deeper and dense with magic and the hint of intrigue.

Palm leaves, Madagascar desert; Photo by Barbara Mattio

The light which is most important to each of us as human beings is the light of truth and honesty and ethics. The light that sweeps away the shadows of oppression, hatred and violence are important to our well-being as members of the human family. We are all children of the Universe. We all live in light and shadow and both are gifts from the Source.

Love, Harmony and Beauty

I am writing because despite the fact I am not 100%, the world is calling to me.
I am so sorry that this man made a video which disrespected Allah. This is a thoughtless, selfish and sad use of free speech. The ability to exercise free speech is a responsibility and this man ignored his responsibility.

It is of no comfort, I understand, but people have made fun of Jesus, Moses, Abraham, Buddha, and the Goddess religions.

What I have seen on the television is a situation where hatred and violence have erupted and lives have been lost. Not just Americans, but also many protesters.

People who have a love of the Divine need to remember that violence and hatred are not in harmony with sacred writings or sacred love.

I ask all of God’s people here on Mother Earth to reach out in love, harmony and beauty to heal the hearts of all who are in pain and grief. There is Unity in our beliefs and the love of The One who is everywhere and constantly within us even though you may not understand or believe .

Please stop the violence and hatred. We must all live here together. The only way to do that is to live in love, harmony and beauty; to grasp that all the illuminated souls are united within Divinity. It matters not what Divinity is called, there is One World, One love, and One life. We are all loved and we must begin to acknowledge our responsibility to live in a manner that will bring us closer to the One.

“Thy light has illuminated the dark chambers of my mind;
Thy love is rooted in the depths of my heart; Thine own are the light of my soul; Thy power worketh behind my action; Thy peace alone is my life’s repose; Thy will is behind my every impulse; Thy voice is audible in the words I speak;
Thine own image is my countenance. My body is but a cover over Thy soul; my life is Thy very breath, my Beloved, and my self is Thine own being.”

—Gayan

May we all forgive those who are unable to see the world through God’s loving eyes. May we embrace each other with harmony and may we see The One in every other person we meet. Blessings to all.

Stand Up and Say No With Your Vote

“Traditionally, a woman’s life was not her own; she belonged first to daddy and then to husband. Indeed, she was raised with the expectation that she would be—literally, body and soul—–someone else’s. Today, women are claiming their lives. We still choose love and intimate relationship, but not as reasons for being. We can no longer live through others. “
——Marilyn Sewell

Well, our most disgusting Congressman is now making apologies. Medical people told him incorrect information. He is so sorry. Yet, he spoke his truth. He said what he believes to be true and his thoughts and spoken words insult and endanger all women. He apologized, what about the woman who just survived a rape and heard him with his sexist point of view. He made her feel as if she were violated once again. Like many in Congress, there are few who live what they talk. They talk very condescending about what women need. How can they understand a woman’s struggle in this life? They don’t walk in the shoes of a woman. They don’t worry about breast cancer, contraception, hysterectomies, pregnancy, labor and delivery, menopause, being treated like second class citizens.

What we should be showing them, that they have to worry about is our getting out in record numbers and voting the male and female sexists out of office. There are plenty of men of quality and women who care for women’s rights to make up a Congress that is ‘for the people and by the people’. Even if you don’t feel strongly about how the elections in the next two years will effect you, think of the younger generations of young people coming up behind us.

These young people deserve not to live in a society that is rampant with violence and where racism and sexism deny American citizens their rights. So few people have read the Constitution or the Bill of Rights. We need more than sound bites to understand what is happening in this, our country, our America.
It is tempting to turn a blind eye to the news and politics some days. If we do that though, we will end up with tyrants and dictators and women and minorities will be the ones to suffer the most. So stand up and be proud that you are a women and “Let them hear you roar!” You get one life; live it freely in control of your choices and your bodies.

Headlines

I am writing today because of the news headlines. A specific headline that has me silently screaming with frustration, Here in American a member of our Congress gave an interview that legitimate rape does not result in pregnancy.
He further stated that the woman’s body would rid itself of the pregnancy. He commented that medical people had told him this information.

First of all, I must state that there is no such thing as legitimate rape. Absolutely none. If a man doesn’t understand the meaning of NO, it is rape and he is responsible for his actions. Without premeditation, poor Eve made a choice in the Garden of Eden to eat of the apple (or pomegranate) to gain knowledge. So it tasted good and she wandered over and offered Adam a bite. He could have said no, I won’t break the rule, forget it. What he chose was to reach out and take the apple and he took a bite. He was responsible for that choice. Eve was only responsible for her own choice.

Since this event in the garden, men have been blaming women for their bad choices. Scapegoating to avoid the responsibility and consequences of their decisions. So who gets blamed? The women.

She got raped because she had too much make-up on, or her skirt was too short, she had bedroom eyes, she gave a ‘come on ‘ smile. The list goes on ad nauseum.

Then there is the fact that rape has absolutely nothing to do with sex. It is an act not driven by desire, lust or passion. It is driven by the need for power and control. The man needs to show that woman how strong and in control he is.
This is why 86 year old women get raped. They didn’t drive this guy out of his mind with passion. But he did control her and used his power to do anything he wanted to her and her body.

Despite the thinking of many people, women can and do become pregnant as a result of rape. So in your mind, picture your mom, sister, cousin, grandmother being raped. Think about what that act of violence and control would do to their minds as well as their bodies.

This entire subject is indicative of the War on Women. It is a battle in the war. I call upon all who read my blog to talk to your friends and family about what is happening in our country to women. Inch by inch they are attempting to push us back into the submissive roles that we finally broke free of. Don’t give up your freedom or the freedom of women you know. Demand more from Congress than the unpardonable lack of bipartisan work to help the constituents who elected them.

A man who can make a statement, white, educated, misogynistic man, who has the temerity to call any rape legitimate is a self-righteous pig. Next they are going to be trying to tell us that if you aren’t legitimately raped the rapist does not have to go to court and hopefully jail.

This brings me back to our esteemed Congressman and his wisdom that he felt he needed to share with the world. Well, he did. Your answer to him should be to vote him out of office as quickly as possible. I bet that if a man were raped, which can happen, no one would be talking about it being legitimate or not.

So, a man of quality treats a woman as an equal partner. He does not belittle her, force her into having sex, slap her around, or make her feel stupid and invisible. There are many men of quality out in the world. So no woman ever needs settle for any other kind of man. We are strong, we are intelligent, we are logical and rational human beings. We can and must stand straight and with head held high, tell the misogynistic people, whether male or female, to get out of our lives and out of our bodies.

Here in America, our Presidential election is coming up. Register and get out there and vote. There is power in your vote. How you vote is private but voting is a responsibility for every citizen. When sexist people won’t listen, the way to make them hear you, is to vote them out of power. This is the only life you will have, don’t let them rob you of your rights.